Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Why Chicken Pot Pies are the Best

"In one word: Delicious"

This was the response of famed Chef Antonia Fillagrinni when interviewed for her latest best selling cook book/romantic novel/fictional autobiography, Temptation in the Kitchen: An Adventure in Love, Life, and Paprika. The question asked was, 'how do you feel about chicken pot pies?'. And I cannot disagree with her sentiment.

The chicken pot pie has been a traditional staple of Native American cuisine for hundreds of years. The traditional recipe called for venison instead of chicken, however much of it remained unchanged. Originally the concept of a crust topping was a permutation upon a traditional cooking technique which involved layering thin strips of bark across the top when cooking, to preserve flavor. Eventually it was discovered that using bread instead of bark produced a better texture, free of gritty wood chips, moss, and acorns which upset the digestive system tremendously.

When the first explorers from Europe arrived in the late 1400's, and began to heavily influence Native American culture, the first Anglo-Saxon changes were implemented. Along with such delicious treats as influenza, small pox, and ravaging auto-immune disorders, these fine pilgrims also brought chickens, which they used to add the distinctive tender goodness to what is now regarded as the "Best Tasting Microwavable Commodity" by the US Annual Report on Food and Medicine.

Monday, February 11, 2008

TruLuv: The Dating Site for Discerning Individuals

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UTheMan1221 (Male/Straight/Arbor Day)

Age: 22
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
Looking for: Friendship, Long Distance Relationship, Casual Encounter, Elopement

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Match Factor: General (67%), Hobbies (83%), Political Idealisms (22%), Ambitions (24%), Sexual Orientation (100%), Has Hair? (43%)

Likes: Long walks on the beach, surfing, swimming, working at pet stores until you're fired for something that wasn't your fault no one told you that parakeets are not supposed to be fed bacon bits.

Dislikes: Big crowds, open air arenas, hot air balloon, playing with darts, cocky assholes who work at pet stores and like to rat their fellow employees out.


Hey, my name is Justin but people call me The Man. I guess you could say I'm a man's man of sorts. A lot of people tell me that they don't agree with the paradoxical and often misogynistic idealism I present to them with my actions and the decisions they make but I disregard these people. I don't let their negativity weight me down. Why should I let someone else's opinion matter to me when that same person can't even bench their own weight. You know who can? Justin can, that's who! And once I forgot to take the pin out of the weights before I lifted them and I accidentally lifted more than my weight! But ever since then, in the mornings when I reach for the box of Eggo Waffles in my cupboard my back clicks and makes a noise like a whale song. Maybe that's me. It's such a sad sound.

Anyhow, I'm now a freelance graphic designer. I used to work retail, at a certain pet store, PetzDelux. I quit of my own volition, because my boss couldn't handle the sort of male competition I was bringing to work all day everyday. Some people can't take the heat.

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Friday, February 08, 2008

Thoughts on Animals by Zak

Zak is a writer, blogger, and political activist who takes pride in championing the rights of animals through the growth of knowledge. His expertise on unusual animals is unparalleled in the Western world. He spent three years living with bears, and once fought a tree.


The Narwhal


Here's what I think happened with the Narwhal. God was creating all of these creatures at the beginning. He was handing out body parts to each one as he went. When he got to the end, he found that he still had a whale body and a strange horn/tooth left. So he figured he'd combine the two and then put this creature in the Arctic Ocean, so it wouldn't be easily discovered.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

The Infeasibility of a Clinton/Obama or Obama/Clinton Ticket

During my daily perusals of websites oriented towards the '08 campaign, I've come across lots of discussion regarding the possibility of a joint Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton ticket this fall. I'd like to take this chance to point out some (obvious) problems with this combination, along with my personal opinion on the matter.

First off, both of these candidates are extremely dynamic; they are powerful public speakers and have extremely strong stances on issues and policy upon which they have really dug in their heels and refused to budge. While this bodes well for presidential nominations, it will ultimately handicap their ability to see eye to eye on many issues. And while both Obama and Clinton declare themselves agents of change and catalysts for a restrengthening of the Democratic party, at the end of the day, these are two people who really want this presidency, and won't settle for anything less.

Which brings me to my second point. I don't think either of these candidates is ready or willing to be a vice president. While many concerns of personal animosity between these two may have been put to rest during the last debate they had in L.A., I think the major discrepancies that exist in both their style and their policies will get in the way.

Don't get me wrong, the last thing we need is a vice president that mirrors the president's decisions and even personality. What we need is a vice president that compliments the president, making up for deficiencies or inabilities to compromise on certain issues. While the role of the vice president, once elected, may be of a much more administrative nature than the president, the role of a vice president hopeful during the campaign is very simple: appeal to the people that your running mate can't reach. In my opinion, both of these candidates are so strong and opinionated that their respective bases of support will have trouble transitioning from subliminal animosity to open cooperation.

Just my thoughts.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

My Little Slice of Obama-mania

Last night I attended a rally at the Hartford Civic Center for Barack Obama. He, along with Ted and Caroline Kennedy, and several of Connecticut's fantastic public servants made an appearance, and put on a show that was, forgive the cliche, inspiring. It was an experience I will not soon forget. Over 17,000 people crowded into the Hartford Civic Center after spending hours in line, outside in the cold and snow/rain. While this may not sound impressive to people who live in normal sized states, please keep in mind that our state is minuscule. However, the energy that I felt at this rally was simply incredible and put aside any doubt I had in my mind that Connecticut was simply a collection of apathetic business lawyers who drive Lexuses and care little about the few delegates we have to offer.

The picture above was taken by a good friend, who attended the rally with me, along with another friend, and my mother who sacrificed part of her sanity trying to find a seat. In the end, us limber young adults decided to stand during the entire length of Obama's impassioned speech, and it was well worth it. We were a mere thirty or forty feet from the man himself the entire time. And while we were almost crushed to death during the surge of humans at the end, we were able to get closer than I ever thought possible. The speech was nothing new, nothing I had not heard or read before. But witnessing it in person was amazing. There is a degree of power that accompanies the spoken word that is lost through type or transcript. I felt Obama's message more so than I ever did before, and as cries of "Obama! Obama!" and "We believe!" swept through the crowd, I found myself, for the first time in my life, totally at the mercy of something far larger than myself.

Today is Super Tuesday. I had hoped to update this blog last night when I returned home, but I was wiped out from the adventure and went straight to sleep. Now, today, I'm spreading the story of how I came to partake in a little bit of Obama-mania. Today, my state, and over 20 other states are voting in both Democratic and GOP primaries. It's proven to be a tough battle on both sides, and I don't think today's results will be definitive. But after witnessing that rally last night, I can't help myself; I can't stay focused on anything except for the fact that this time tomorrow, I'll know how many Americans have felt the same thing I felt last night. During the rally, periodically, Obama would preface a point with "If you believe..." and the crowd would immediately respond back with an awe-inspiring roar "We believe!"

I believe.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Nighttime

Hello folks. I'd like to officially welcome the month February. I learned that 2008 is a leap year, and through the design of some archaic calendar system it has been decided that we will after an extra day with which to celebrate this glorious month. i have to admit, its quite refreshing to revel in the feeling of measurement system that has not been steam pressed, cut into perfect tenths, and authorized by the collective world powers. Sometimes a little old world thinking is just the thing to keep our heads in the clouds.

I am, of course, speaking gibberish, but for a good reason. This weekend has so far proven to be quite surreal. I slept for almost 12 straight hours last night, and whether or not this is due to some level of stress or subliminal fatigue that I have subconsciously accumulated over the past months remains uncertain. However, I do know that I accomplished absolutely nothing today: I sat around, listened to music, watched some tv, and thought a lot. And the time just flew by.

Actually, I'd be lying to you if I told you I accomplished absolutely nothing today. In fact, I achieved something quite impressive: I finished my first-ever Sudoku puzzle. Now, I know I'm about two years late to the whole Sudoku scene, but I actually was quite proud of myself and I was able to finish it in just under an hour, by myself without help. Two puzzles later, I was cracking them in under 20 minutes. I think that I may have discovered my calling in life.

Currently I'm trying to finish some of the epic piece of writing I've endeavored upon. No, it's not a new novel, or short work of grand importance. It's the chapter outline of the Connecticut State Driver's Manual I have to finish in order to receive the little certificate from ym local driving school that I can bring to my local DMV to prove that I learned how to drive a car locally so they can test me on my driving knowledge to prove to the state that I know how to drive so they can issue my a license to prove to the country that I know how to drive so I can pay to get this license renewed in 6 or 7 years depending upon which policy I choose. It's all incredibly ridiculous, and I see this as almost the final challenge against which I shall pit my last reserves of strength and patience before escaping to a life at college, like the angry boss that accompanied the end of every temple level in Zelda: Ocarina of Time. The only way to make it more picture-perfect would be to conclude this epic test with me driving away into the sunset. Unfortunately, gas prices have rendered this mode of transportation unfeasible for someone in my income bracket, so I'll be sticking to less romantic, yet more price-friendlier options like the Southwest Airlines.