Monday, February 11, 2008

TruLuv: The Dating Site for Discerning Individuals

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UTheMan1221 (Male/Straight/Arbor Day)

Age: 22
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
Looking for: Friendship, Long Distance Relationship, Casual Encounter, Elopement

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Match Factor: General (67%), Hobbies (83%), Political Idealisms (22%), Ambitions (24%), Sexual Orientation (100%), Has Hair? (43%)

Likes: Long walks on the beach, surfing, swimming, working at pet stores until you're fired for something that wasn't your fault no one told you that parakeets are not supposed to be fed bacon bits.

Dislikes: Big crowds, open air arenas, hot air balloon, playing with darts, cocky assholes who work at pet stores and like to rat their fellow employees out.


Hey, my name is Justin but people call me The Man. I guess you could say I'm a man's man of sorts. A lot of people tell me that they don't agree with the paradoxical and often misogynistic idealism I present to them with my actions and the decisions they make but I disregard these people. I don't let their negativity weight me down. Why should I let someone else's opinion matter to me when that same person can't even bench their own weight. You know who can? Justin can, that's who! And once I forgot to take the pin out of the weights before I lifted them and I accidentally lifted more than my weight! But ever since then, in the mornings when I reach for the box of Eggo Waffles in my cupboard my back clicks and makes a noise like a whale song. Maybe that's me. It's such a sad sound.

Anyhow, I'm now a freelance graphic designer. I used to work retail, at a certain pet store, PetzDelux. I quit of my own volition, because my boss couldn't handle the sort of male competition I was bringing to work all day everyday. Some people can't take the heat.

UTheMan1221 Last Logged In: 12 Hours Ago

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1 comment:

Melissa said...

This is the most hilarious thing ever.