Results from New Hampshire

Well, the results are in from that 'ol Granite State and while you've probably already heard them a half dozen times today I'll reiterate them in my own style:

Hillary won the Democratic primaries, beating Obama by two, or three, or five points depending on where you go. In addition, McCain seems to have won the Republican primaries, but I'm not sure if anyone noticed. Ha, I am just kidding of course. Every republican in New Hampshire noticed. Every one of them.

With these results the primary has truly been thrown up in the air. Polls pegged Obama as the clear projected winner, at one point clocking double digits over Clinton in the polls. Many suspect that the thing that saved Clinton in the clutch was her emotional breakdown on camera at a diner. I admire her bravery. That women's tears melted the Granite Stater's presumably granite hearts. Bless them.

In so far as Obama is concerned, he valiantly pledged to continue forward, and with strong polls in South Carolina, I don't think that Hillary can immediately be called the front runner. If this race has taught us anything so far, it's that you can't assume anything. Well, I can, but that's because I'm a radical leftist blogger, and making up facts and diluting the truth to supplement our Communist agenda is our second favorite hobby, right after aborting freedom-lovin' babies. Have I told you how much I love America?

If you're getting slightly angry vibes from me, you wouldn't be too far from the truth. I'm not angry, just very disgruntled. This race is starting to taste a little bitter, with polls swinging all over the place. While it's true that a much larger percentage of voters so far have decided to get out there and exercise those slightly atrophied civic muscles, the possibility that a pair of watery eyes swung the elections in New Hampshire is something I haven't braced myself for. Stay tuned to The New Oceanic for updates regarding the primaries, and occassionaly, some truly objective reporting.