Some Notes on the Shortcomings of the Contemporary American Teenager (Part 1)

Yes, I said "part 1" because I intend this to be a multifaceted series of posts, a sort of refined flow of the ideas and little thoughts I've had over the years on, you guessed it, the shortcomings of the contemporary American teenager. Some of it may not make sense. Some of it may be contradictory. Some of it may even infuriate. However, overall, my goal for this post series is to relay my thoughts and opinions as and when they are influenced by things I have experienced, or by new revelations I've had, or by being influenced by someone I've talked to or someone I've read. Let me say this, that above all, this is not aimed at anyone in particular, and that in all instances there are individuals on both sides of the fence, along with some uncomfortably situated on top of the fence, and some who have removed the fence all together and replaced it with something entirely more sinsister, or more wholesome. As the case may be, and as I have learned over the years, teenagers form the most volatile and energetic population percentile of almost every nation on earth. You can explain it away with hormones, or unproper upbringing, or the work of the devil, but what it all comes down to is that teenagers are often misunderstood and that leads to an unfortaunte cycle resulting in more misunderstanding, a cycle which irrevocably repeats and repeats until the teenagers themselves are too busy with their lives to continue anymore.

A'ight, that was a pretty big-ass paragraph, and I'll try to make a mental note to keep them a bit shorter and more focused than that. It is hard to write about such a complex subject as the shortcomings of teenagers when you yourself are a teenager, eh? Of course, this may be the unique prespective no one has had before. Someone on the inside. Someone with direct information, for once a sensible link to understanding and dealing with the problem that is teenagers. I think that writers, scientists, teachers, and most importantly parents will pounce all over this blog once they've heard about all of the wonderful little nuggets of information I have regarding thier teenage children. Of course, I plan to make a profit out of this. Hmm, let's say 50 USD for every child I help to assimilate into the "normal" American culture of Baby Boomers and prescription drugs. It'll be just like that episode of Star Trek where Captain Picard almost gets assimilated by the Borg. Except without the happy ending of course.

The ones who have detected the sarcasm, and did not appreciate it, have left, and all that remain are those who were oblivious to it before (and probably will be oblivious to it for the rest of the post), those who noticed it, dismissed it as the mere unrelenting wryness of one of our pubscent young ones, and have continued to peruse the blog for useful information, and those who have noticed the sarcasm, appreciated it for what it was, and continued to read, truly believing they might in some way gain or alter thier perspective of thinking my reading my very altered perspective of thinking.

Well I suppose that's enough for Part 1, I just provided those people out there with no direct experience with teenagers a crash course into understanding the mind of one. If you've gotten this far, don't forget. It's currently 9:00 PM. Do you know where your kids are?