I Agree!

Today in school, I witnessed an example of humanity at one of its high points. I was walking along, as fast as I can in the hall ways, which isn't very fast due to our density level (slightly higher than water logged pine wood). I had a book under one arm, and my backpack slung over my shoulder in a very cool style I like to call "I didn't have time to push my arm through the other strap before I was swept up by the wave of humanity that is our school". I had neutralized my face into an expression one would commonly associate with dead cabbage, to blend in with the other dead cabbages around me. The last thing I would want to do is stand out. Other students might point and say, "Look! That guy over there has neutralized his facial expression into one commonly associated with cabbage that isn't quite dead yet! Let us haze him in a manner that will make us feel better about ourselves!" As you can see, standing out in my high school is a big problem.

Anyhow, I'm walking along attempting to look bland and non-confrontational, when from behind me, someone yells out in a voice I would only describe as molasses sliding over low grit sandpaper, "Whoa! Someone has BO like a mother f*cker!" Before you think anything, rest assured he was not talking about me. I smother myself with enough "Old Spice High Endurance After Hours Keepin' It Real Ultra Aromatic Body Spray Deodarant" to supply a third world nation for at least a year. So no, I was not the one in possession of such BO, rather it was someone ahead of me, or so I assumed because by that point, I had begun to detect the faint odors of something not of this world.

No, this isn't a blog about BO, nor is it a blog about the sorry state of our high school system (that one is still to come). this is a blog about the guy behind me. The one with such creative language. I knew the person from elementary school, and grown up with that young child. Not that I would call him a friend, but I had seen him when he was still under five feet tall, and thought that Pokemon was a fad that couldn't possibly end in his lifetime. To see someone grow and develop next to you is both interesting and disturbing. Interesting, because it allowed me to measure myself against other people I knew, and thus re-assure myself that I was on the "right track" developmentally. Disturbing, because if someone had told me eight years ago that I would eventually hear this person utter the words I heard him utter, my reaction would have most likely been, "Wha?(without the 't')".

Is it just me, or do people swear a lot? I mean A LOT. What is it? Did I miss the episode of Power Rangers with the subliminal message of "Go out and use as much crude language as often as possible, especially around women because it'll make you awesome." I must of, because all of my life so far, growing up, swearing has always seemed a little alien to me. As in, if you can't express your feelings without swearing, SHUT UP and let people WHO CAN, talk in peace. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think so, and the reason for this is that I have friends, who also feel the same way. Of course, you can't exactly ask someone whether or not swearing is crude in thier opinion, they'll just swear at you to break the ice.

"So, Friend, I must ask you a simple question?"
"What is it, Bringer of Hopes to Orphans?"
"I must ask you, when you make verbal hemorrhages, do you feel as if you have done something you are uncomfortable with?"
"I believe the answer your searching for, dear Bringer, is to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, ASSH*LE."
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"Oh, sorry, I just said it cause the girl I like was watching and I wanted to impress her."
".............."

Unfortunately, this is the way a conversation like that would go, and their is no avoiding it. But I have a question. What if everyone believes they could express themselves without swearing, but are too embarrassed to admit it. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Like the stupidest thing the human race has done, a worldwide embarrassment. Do you know how we would cover it up? I think I do. We all say, at the same time, "Whoa, someone has BO like a motherf*cker!" Wouldn't that be great? As you can tell, swearing is not my forte, I probably actually quoted the guy in the hallway wrong, and it is painfully obvious that my choice of words was awkward and ill planned.

So, this is my third post in this blog, and I'm likin' it so far. I'm going to push up a picture of myself here pretty soon, and I expect nothing less than pure wonder expressed through poetic e-mails about my ravishing good looks.

And I also promise to start posting things that actually have to do with something by next week. For now, I'm going to post stuff similar to the one above (without the swears), just so anybody who reads this can get an idea of who I am, and where I'm coming from.